On the Edge

I don't know what better way to describe how I'm feeling other than this picture. I'm simply on the edge. Before you start reading deep into that statement, I'm not contemplating my life or anything. It's more like I'm standing on the edge, afraid to jump but afraid to step out on faith. In essence, I'm stuck.

I think about my life and all that I have. I have a great husband, two great children and one on the way, I have every material possession that I ever wanted (besides my yacht and private island lol). I drive luxury cars and wear a 6 carat diamond ring daily, and wear designer shoes and bags and clothes. I live in a gated community (Real Housewife of Houston...I need my own show! LMAO) and I have the 3 of the most important ingredients to life: love, support and stability. But even with all of that, I still don't know where I am in life. I don't know that I'm emotionally ready to have another child. I have questions lingering in the back of my mind like am I really ready for what's ahead of me?

I'm a person who loves control. I need to be to controlling majority of the things that go on in my life and it bugs me that I can't control my future.I need to know what's ahead of me so that I can prepare myself. I need to know if I'll ever get out of graduate school, I need to know if I'll be the mother that my mother was, I need to know if my children are going to be the stand up children that I want them to be, and the list goes on.

So what am I to do? It's hard to stand there, right on the edge. But something my dad told me last night was to reach out, take His hand and see where He leads you too. I had to sleep on that thought (I started this blog in the wee hours of the morning) and I realized that I need to have faith. I don't know why my faith is in doubt and I know to trust in a higher power because some things are out of my control but it's easier said than done.

All that rambling done, I've decided that I will step away and turn it over. I'm laying my worries down because whether I like it or not, what's in store for me is just in store; I can't alter that.

I Need You Now - Smokie Norful